Self Acceptance

The problem with “becoming your best self” is that it makes you hate your current self.

The world, especially via Social Media, will tell you a lot about what you ‘should’ be doing:

• I should be reading
• I should be exercising
• I should be traveling the world
• I should be getting up early
• I should be meditating
• I should be journaling

Pretty soon you have a mental checklist of all the ways in which you are failing. Every unchecked box becomes ammunition for self-loathing. “I’m lazy” or “I’m undisciplined” or “I’m falling behind” or “I’ve got to get my life together”.

Sure, self-improvement is an aspect of a full and meaningful life. But it alone won’t satisfy you. It’s only one side of the coin. The other side is Radical acceptance.

Most of us set up ‘black or white’ parameters for ourselves:

• “I must succeed or I’m worthless”
• “People must treat me well or they’re bad”
• “Life must go my way or it’s terrible”

This binary self-talk creates a cycle of Constant disappointment, Endless frustration, and Perpetual anxiety.

Truths:

1/ You are perfectly imperfect

• You will have flaws
• You will make mistakes
• You will fail sometimes

Fighting this creates shame. Accepting this creates self-love.

2/ People are imperfect, too

• Some will treat you unfairly
• Some won’t meet your expectations
• Some will disappoint you

Fighting this truth creates resentment. Accepting it creates connection. All of us are imperfect.

3/ Life is beautifully messy

• Nothing is permanent
• Everything is uncertain
• Change is inevitable

Fighting this creates suffering. Or a sense that you are perpetually suffering where others aren’t. Accepting this creates inner peace. To live is to suffer.

Self-improvement without self-acceptance is like try to fill a water bucket with holes. Be imperfect, growly slowly, live fully.